In the hand of my lover EdLu
by beautifulXflowerXJo
Summary: "That's how I died... In the hand of my lover" Edmund/Lucy One-shot, Warning: Incest


_W__hy does it hurt so badly?_

It phsically hurts me looking down at her lying in this coffin. I feel waves of sirens going off in my head saying _''__S__he__'__s gone,__ Ed__,__she__'__s gone''_ as if I need reminding. I know she's gone. I don't want her to be gone. I need her here, with me.

Tears slide down my face as more people arrived and gathered in the little room that contained her open casket. I couldn't take this, one thing being here to edure the pain of losing the love of my life but then going to a restraunt afterward as if it's a celebration. I knew she probably would have wanted it this way...

So how could I argue with something she wanted? I could only remeber the big blue puppy dog eyes she gave me when i agrued with her. I gave the smallest chuckle that the world has ever heard at the thought and more tears ran down my cheeks. I wiped them away once the Priest went to stand at the top of her room. I hadn't relised how close I was to having to say goodbye and she couldn't even hear me. I walked back to the back of the room where the pack was waiting. 

''Are you ready?'' Peter asked as the melochony music began to play.

_O__f course not__! _ I wanted to shout back but I knew there was no use in that and now was just not the time, so instead I nodded my head. We all got in the small line and a few people came up to me and gave thier condolences. I nodded in response to each one of them and they walked away. The line got shorter and shorter as people went to say thier last goodbyes to her.

Eventually we were next in line. Peter went first and he obvisiouly was very emotional, she was his baby sister, as she _was _mine. Pete said some quiet words to her and stepped back down and without another word he walked away from her coffin. Susan put her hand on my shoulder as I stepped forward towards the open casket. Seeing her like that, cold and still, was just… heartbreaking.

I didn't know if I could handle it, I couldn't handle it. I examined her lifeless body. I bent down towards her and whispered ''Wake up'' as if she was in a deep sleep, as if she could hear me.

I had been telling myself that for the past 3 weeks, that she was in a deep sleep and that's the only reason she isn't there beside me when I go to sleep, the reason I don't hear her singing while she's cooking, the reason she can't hear me when I tell her I love her and the reason she can't tell me she loves me back.

''Please, wake up.'' I whispered again as I closed my eyes. I fell to my knees with a small thud. ''Please!'' I said louder, looking down at her motionless body. ''Wake up! This isn't funny!'' I yelled as I grabbed her now freezing cold hand clutched it. 

''Ed, stop'' I heard Peter say behind me.

''No, because she's not really gone, she's just joking around. Like she always does, except this time it's not funny'' I yelled lies through my tears.

''Edmund…'' Peter said tugging on my arm. ''You're interrupting the ceremony.''

''I don't care.'' I looked back and she still wasn't moving, her eyes closed but her chest not going up and down like it should be. I stood up and Peter took a step back behind me thinking I had recovered, so it took him by surprize when I bent foward and shook her shoulders. 

''Wake up! Don't leave me like this!'' I screamed, tears flowing from my eyes. ''I need you!'' 

I felt Peter's arms secure themselves around my waist and pull me away from her. I fought but he dragged me back and out of the room past the staring, frightened faces. He pulled me into the empty hallway of the morgue. I tried pushing past him. But he pushed me back and grabbed me by the head, with his hands on each side of it. 

''Ed… she's gone... I know it's hard… but she's not coming back'' Peter said each word slowly. 

''I know... that's the hard part'' I crogged and Peter engulfed me in a hug.

Later when everyone was in the other room, sharing stories and memories about her I snuck back into the room that held her there, in her casket. I walked up to it and slowly opened back up the top to revel her still motionless body. I slowly and carefully climbed into the casket and lay down beside her. 

''I love you Lucy and I'm gonna be with you soon.'' I whispered. I took the gun from the back of my belt in my right hand and adjusted myself so that I was able to hold her hand with my left and pressed the gun to my head with the right. And just like that I pulled the trigger.

_**T**__**hat**__**'**__**s how **__**I**__** died...**__** I**__**n the hand of my lover**__**.**_


End file.
